Because I couldn’t say it on Facebook….

December 24th, 2009 Posted in Holidays

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Dear Christians,

My slippers say a general Happy Holiday instead of Merry Christmas because:

a)  there’s a LOT of fucking people out there that AREN’T CHRISTIAN.

b) December 25 is not even Jesus’ birthday.

c) it was originally a Pagan holiday, you stealing copycatter mo-fos.

So when someone passes you and wishes you a very Happy Holiday, hows about you try not being a complete douche and instead be thankful that anyone is even bothering to say hello, you ignorant twunt. (tnx to puss for that most excellent word)

Crankily,

franki_sigthumbnail.png 

P.S. My slippers also say, “Blow me.”

P.P.S. Highly offensive Christmas post from 2007. 

P.P.P.S Highly offensive Christmas post from 2008.

P.P.S.S.S. This.

  1. 12 Responses to “Because I couldn’t say it on Facebook….”

  2. By Vegetable Assassin on Dec 24, 2009

    You know, I love me some Christmas. It’s all goodwill and all that nonsense and nice and nostalgic and I like it a lot. But I’m not religious at all. Not even an iota. I’m about secular Christmas and excesses.:)

    I can’t believe people can be offended over “happy holidays!” I mean WTF? Like you say, there ARE other people in the world. Fuck those people anyway. Fuck them right in the eye. “Fuck you in the eye” is my new favourite saying.

    HAPPY HOLIDAYS FRANKIE!

  3. By Dale on Dec 24, 2009

    Merry fucking Christmas is still allowed though right? :-) Snappy Holidays!

  4. By Elaine on Dec 24, 2009

    Those slippers really do say it all! I want a pair! I missed you too!!! Happy Kwanzaa! ;p

  5. By bruja on Dec 24, 2009

    Damn. I cannot believe how good this makes me feel… And I also cannot believe how much I missed you. Mwah! Welcome the hell back, b*tch… :)

  6. By Maggie on Dec 24, 2009

    Dude, my husband’s office sent out an email demanding that no one wishes anyone any kind of holiday wishes in order not to offend anyone. I’m offended. They are infringing on my belief that spreading good feelings is my life goal. I’m going to go pout and draw up a law suit now.

  7. By Cynnie on Dec 24, 2009

    i hate people …fucking cows .

    love the slippers !..
    love the christmas free reign to eat like a mofo..thats about it .
    eh..
    have you noticed that people are cranky as fuck this year ?
    jesus people..pay the rent instead of getting the kids a wii..
    i swear jesus wont mind

  8. By bob on Dec 25, 2009

    it’s amazing how cranky these love-everyone-christians get. I thought christianity was all about forgiving others their sins instead of castigating them for it.

    happy holidays right back atcha.

  9. By heart in san francisco on Dec 25, 2009

    About frickin’ bloody time you came back here, but I wouldn’t want to meet those slippers in a dark alley.

  10. By Jennifer H on Dec 25, 2009

    Twunt? Best word ever.

    I say Happy Holidays, too. Unless someone’s wearing a Santa suit or giving birth to the very one and only baby Jesus right then and there, then I’ll toss out a Merry Christmas.

  11. By Jocelyn on Dec 26, 2009

    Thank you for composing the only holiday greeting that’s made sense to me all year.

    Plus, I’m a fan of Puss’ “twunt” talk, too.

    Hippy hoppy, LoveGirl.

  12. By clairemontgomerymd on Jan 3, 2010

    great post. even better slippers.

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