Dear Bread Companies that Double-Wrap their Breads so that I have to Use a Steak Knife to Break into your Packaging so I can Make a Stupid Sandwich,

June 8th, 2008 Posted in TWATS, Letters, Anti-Christ

Things we don’t need more of in this world:

  1. More plastic in our landfills.
  2. Cuts on our fingers from steak knives.

SO FUCKING STOP IT.

Aggravatedly,

franki_sigthumbnail.png

  1. 27 Responses to “Dear Bread Companies that Double-Wrap their Breads so that I have to Use a Steak Knife to Break into your Packaging so I can Make a Stupid Sandwich,”

  2. By flutter on Jun 8, 2008

    make your own bread?

    ok, I am running away now….

  3. By Franki on Jun 8, 2008

    flutter ~ we got 3 teenaged boys in the house. i would need to make my own bread factory. beatings.

  4. By Loving Annie on Jun 8, 2008

    Good Sunday to you Franki.

    No kidding.

    Dare I send you a recipe for making bread at home ? I thought not :)

    But seriously, there is a frozen loaf in the supermarket called Bridgeford’s - and all you have to do is let it rise in a pan overnight and then stick it in the oven for an hour. White or wheat. It tastes HEAVENLY :)

    and doesn’t have any shrink wrap…

    Loving Annie

  5. By Jennifer H on Jun 8, 2008

    Oh, and while they’re at it, could they stop charging four goddamn dollars a loaf?

    (On second thought, you’d better address the letter to the oil companies, too.)

  6. By Franki on Jun 8, 2008

    lovingA ~ me no make bread. me chinese. plus its 110 degrees here. me no use oven. plus i would need 4 loaves a day. teenage boys are locusts. maybe i can get them to eat the plastic. it might fill them up AND would be less in the land fill.

  7. By Franki on Jun 8, 2008

    jenniferH ~ i don’t even LIKE bread! stoopid bread.

  8. By rachel on Jun 8, 2008

    LOL @ the pictures.

    but the double wrapping makes the bread last longer, which keeps production costs down and makes the bread cheaper!!!

    And thanks so much for captioning the Green TV ad. :)

  9. By Krok69 on Jun 8, 2008

    Franki,

    Only pussy bread is double wrapped. Pussy. I buy Merrita whole wheat and it’s single-wrapped. I want to kill the fucker who invented those little pinch things to keep the hot dog bun wrapper closed. I also want to kill the fucker who seals the Frosted Flakes bag.

  10. By Krok69 on Jun 8, 2008

    I also want to kill that stupid fat bitch who leaves her fucking shopping cart in the middle of the fucking isle. God damn bitch.

  11. By Franki on Jun 8, 2008

    rachel ~ i always wonder if people click on the links. they are my perverse pleasure. and you’re welcome, of course!

    krok9.2 ~ pussy bread sounds like personal hygiene issue. i hate all kinds of wrappers. i’m sorry about leaving my cart in the middle of the aisle. i just forgot the sweet pickles.

  12. By Krok69 on Jun 8, 2008

    Franki,

    I love sweet pickles. I also love those little pineapple squares.

    You just got me thinking that I’ve never seen an Asian in Publix, where do you all shop?

  13. By Glamourpuss on Jun 9, 2008

    I have the same issue with teabags that come in plastic bags in a cardboard box wrapped in more plastic - three layers of packaging where one would do.

    Puss

  14. By CEO on Jun 9, 2008

    Let ‘em eat sushi.

  15. By furiousBall on Jun 9, 2008

    just be thankful the steak knife companies are still making steak knives.

    sheesh.

  16. By furiousBall on Jun 9, 2008

    oh and btw, glamourpuss just said tea bag

  17. By Franki on Jun 9, 2008

    krok9.2 ~ i don’t even know what a Publix is. I’ve got teenage boys, so I shop at Costco.

    puss ~ yes, i’ve experienced the 30 minute tea bag opening ceremony myself. frustrating!

    ceo ~ boy, you do know how to push the sushi don’t you?

    furiousB ~ i don’t need steak knives….i’ve got teeth…well, except to open those stupid bread loaves.

    furiousB ~ why yes she did didn’t she?

  18. By liv on Jun 9, 2008

    freaking pepperidge farm. i get it.

  19. By Falwless on Jun 9, 2008

    Someone needed to say it. That someone is you. Bless you.

  20. By PhoenixHearse on Jun 9, 2008

    While we’re talking about killing people, and since Krok mentioned shopping carts…I want to kill the bastards that leave the carts out in the parking lots.

    Think about it…it’s the perfect crime! You leave the cart there just before you drive away. So people like me don’t get the chance to ram it directly into your driver’s door.

  21. By Maggie on Jun 9, 2008

    I was making bread and it killed me. Seriously. Now I’m just a cooking ghost who buys processed bread because I just don’t have enough time in the week to feed five people while baking bread for them. Ghosts have gotta do other things too.

    Like get the damn bread bag open!

  22. By Carrie on Jun 9, 2008

    There are bread loaves sold in double wrapping?
    I had no idea about this.

    This is one of many reasons I love blogging…I learn so much. Living in a cave, I miss a lot! lol

  23. By pistols at dawn on Jun 9, 2008

    I like any post shorter than the title that’s still really angry.

  24. By Dale on Jun 9, 2008

    You cut right through on this one!

  25. By thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy on Jun 9, 2008

    I’d sign my name to that petition, no question.

  26. By Jocelyn on Jun 10, 2008

    Those teenage boys of yours–the breadeaters–don’t need a new hobby? One that involves rage and knives? Sounds like you have an easy solution just as near as the bedroom down the hall.

    Or the bakery down the street.

  27. By M@ on Jun 10, 2008

    Good job on the micro-blogging!

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