Rest in Pieces?
Thursday, March 20th, 2008 Posted in People are Strange, Catholics, Da Pope, God Particle, Hot Pockets, Crack-smokers, Going to Hell, School, Religion | 22 Comments »So I’ve been writing a paper about reliquaries for my art history class. What’s a reliquary, you ask? It’s fucked up. That’s what. Reliquaries are containers for relics. And relics are pieces of dead holy people…in little boxes. Neat. During medieval times, the ...
Suri Cruise, The Movement
Tuesday, February 26th, 2008 Posted in Immaculate Conception, Suri Cruise, L. Ron Hubbard, Artificial Insemination, Sweet Haysus, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, Phobic, Really?!, Crack-smokers, Going to Hell, Religion | 31 Comments »Dear Creepy Scientologists, When I put up this post last January 7th regarding Suri Cruise and her potential Messiah-essness*, I didn’t realize that I would be attracting much more than my usual nutball readership**. But I see from my SiteMeter, ...
Affected Much?
Tuesday, February 19th, 2008 Posted in Crack-smokers, Pet Peeves | 18 Comments »Walking on the GWU campus this afternoon, I spied 3 pea-coat-wearing, gelled-up-hair-sportin boys in the business school quad smokin a hookah, glancing around a lot to see if anyone was watching. Whatever they were smokin smelled a lot like cotton candy. ...
Missions from God
Friday, January 4th, 2008 Posted in Fucknumpty, Mike Huckabee, Sacrilege, Going to Hell, Crack-smokers, Homophobia, Religion, Politics (a.k.a. Hypocrisy) | 32 Comments »Franki sees that there are many, many reasons to be leery of Evangelical minister Mike Huckabee vying for the Presidency of the United States. Still...he took Iowa. Franki cringes. In 2004, his state, Arkansas, approved a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. ...
Ambiguous Voting Day.
Monday, November 5th, 2007 Posted in Crack-smokers, Really?!, Pet Peeves, Politics (a.k.a. Hypocrisy) | 14 Comments »It's that time of year again. Time to go to the polls. Mostly, candidates proclaim that they are "traditional," "family," and always some thing about "integrity," which, in these parts, I tend to read as Christian, pro-guns, pro-life for ...
Crackhead Sings Gospel…
Thursday, November 1st, 2007 Posted in Sacrilege, Email Funnies, Going to Hell, Crack-smokers | 15 Comments »and it is priceless. I swear. Try to hang on till the end. I dare ya.
In celebration of…
Sunday, October 14th, 2007 Posted in Crack-smokers, Tom Cruise, Fucknumpty, Religion, Stinkin' Rich People, Homophobia, Pole-Smokers, Blogging | 14 Comments »...the return of Hey there, Skippy , I would just like to say... fucknumpty. Thank the gods you're back. No one understands me like you do.
Nuthin But the Dog in Ya
Tuesday, September 25th, 2007 Posted in George Clinton, Funkified, Thank You!, Crack-smokers, Franki's Life | 16 Comments »Dear Mr. Clinton, Last weekend I attended the Capitol City Carnival Faire & Brewe, at which you were the headlining band. By my calculations, you must be at least 102 years old, but damned if you aren't still the funkiest motherfucker ...
But You’ll Take a Bullet?
Monday, September 24th, 2007 Posted in Britney Spears, Tony Baretto, Crack-smokers, Really?!, Stinkin' Rich People, OJ, Pet Peeves | 21 Comments »Gentle Readers, Franki had the misfortune to catch Matt Lauer's interview with Tony Baretto on the Today Show. Tony Baretto, better known as "Britney Spears Bodyguard," has come forth with allegations of Britney's drug and alcohol use and nudity that will ...
Oh Britney…*shaking head ruefully*
Wednesday, September 19th, 2007 Posted in Britney Spears, Going to Hell, Crack-smokers, Really?!, Pole-Smokers, Letters by Proxy | 14 Comments »Dear Britney, I was going to help you out, cuz I'm nice like that, and write for you a handy-dandy-prewritten suicide note, but I'm not absolutely certain you can read. So instead, I ask that you choose one of the pretty colored ...
